Out with the old, in with the new

We are going over to an old co-workers house tonight for dinner. I worked with him for about 2 1/2 years and his son is a year older than Bear. I should be excited about this but I'm just not. I am so bad about this. I am friends with people while we are involved in something like school, work, church, etc and then once we lose that common thread I lose interest in being friends. I have gone through more groups of friends than I care to recall in the past. I'm notoriously bad about this. I change so much in my interests and attitudes that my "friends" often don't convey to the next phase of my life. I think I hold too much back. I never get to that intimate best friend level with anyone and so it is easy to move on from friendships that no longer share a common interest.

We have another couple coming to stay with us this weekend. I went to college with this girl and we studied abroad together in Russia. I got her husband a job working for my husband a few years ago so they became friends. They moved 3 hours away a year and a half ago and want to come back and visit. Yet I am not particularly excited about that either. I don't know why. I always enjoy myself when I hang out with old friends I just don't ever make the effort to really stay close or remain part of their lives. I haven't had a "best" friend since middle school. I miss that. I have several new friends that I have made in the past few years but none I would just pick up the phone with and chat about whatevers bothering me. My husband is really the only person who knows me inside and out and knows all my secrets that a best friend would typically know.

This makes me sad. All of the people I hang out with have best friends that they call up and go shopping or go to lunch and I just don't have that. I almost feel like I am too old. The people I meet and I am friends with now already have someone like that in their lives that they have known for a long time and share inside jokes with. I am grateful to have my husband to go through everything with but nothing beats a close girl friend.