Monday, September 14, 2009

More of 2

I'll admit, I was one of those smug moms with 1 kid who didn't really get what all the fuss was about. Bear was a relatively easy baby and I found staying home with him wasn't difficult at all. Then I went and decided to add another baby to the mix and my easy baby turned into this 2 year old that I don't know how to handle half the time. Add in a husband who has been working an insane amount of hours including weekends. Not so easy anymore.

I am just overwhelmed. Mostly with my toddler. Tater is a pretty easy baby so besides the time demands of breastfeeding and the not sleeping through the night we are doing OK. But Bear is a whole 'nother ballgame. The kicking, spitting, throwing things, breaking toys and furniture, screaming, crying, not napping and general melee is in full force. It is not all of the time but it seems to be becoming more the rule than the exception lately. I am sure some of it is new baby jealousy and some is not having daddy around much but it is driving me crazy.

I feel like I am all alone in this because it seems the people I know either have kids that didn't go through this, or went through it later (if I hear that 3 is worse one more time I am going to pack up and run away from home), or they have girls and have dealt more with the crying side of things and less of the physical things like hitting and breaking things. I have just been refraining from blogging because I really don't like writing negative things about my kids or family on here. I want to focus on the milestones and the funny antecdotes and not use this to whine about how hard my life is. I know in the grand scheme of things we are doing good and this is just a phase. There are times when Bear is amazing and I do see progress in his behavior. But when you are in the trenches of yet another battle over naptime or a diaper change it feels like this is how it always is and it will never end.

I have had a bit of a break the last 2 weeks because Mother's Day Out started back up after summer break and Bear is now going 2 days a week. This gives me a chance to focus on just one kid and even get some things done without worrying about someone dissolving into a puddle on the floor screaming about the latest injustice of being 2. I just want to see some kind of improvement and it seems that for every good day we have we end up following it with 2 meltdown filled days. Moving him to the toddler bed has in some ways made things worse. Nights were tricky at first but once we figured out that he needs it to be completely dark to sleep we were able to make it a little easier but now naps are a nightmare. He yet ready to give up nap
time which is evidenced by his much improved behavior on the days that he does nap.

So I have just been keeping my head down and trying to slog through this difficult period. I just can't help but think how great things are when Bear acts good and just wish kids didn't have to go through this phase.

In other news, Tater turned FIVE months old on Saturday. How insane is that? He is growing by leaps and bounds and it is so much fun to enjoy this baby phase all over again. We are going to be starting him on rice cereal and some first foods in the next couple of weeks. Hopefully he will start sleeping through the night soon.


Anonymous said...

He looks so similar to Bear!!

Kristine said...

My mantra is and probably always will be "This is only a phase." It's gotten me through colic and as of late it's getting me through "I don't feeeeeeel lke taking a nap."

It will get better.

Shawna said...

I don't have much advice for you except: Hang in there, it WILL get better! (I know that doesn't help "right now" though... :( )
But seriously, it IS just a phase, and he will grow up and grow out of it. One website that I like to read is - they have, in my opinion, a good perspective on toddler"isms" and help me to see things in a different way, and consequently approach things in a different way. Good luck and again, hang in there! :)

Shawna said...

P.S. On if you enter your child's b-day they will send you emails related to his age and the phases that you are probably dealing with, based on his age.

jpandtheboys said...

**hugs** Sometimes we just need a hug. I am so sorry. I can't imagine, I am sure that I will be experiencing this before I know it. I have had some difficult times with Brodes lately but I can only imagine that it will increase when the baby comes. Hang in there. I will be praying for you. I admire your reasoning for focusing on the positive but sometimes it's good to share so that we can be encouraged and prayed for and hear from someone that you are not alone.

Haley said...

You are not alone in the two year old hitting, kicking, tearing things apart stage.

Trust me on that one.

Hang in there, it really is just a phase and hopefully things will get better really soon!

misguided mommy said...

what is it they say.
two is bad
three is worse
four will kill you

so i have a two and a four year old so, bad + will kill me = lots and lots of drugs.

man the newborn stage was a total fucking joke. i'm all oh look at me rocking this mom of two fucking shit it's easy to rock it when the baby sleeps all damn day

how long has it been since i commented, five year six, seven ten? feels like every time i sit down to read blogs someone is shouting mommy, or dear come help or my boss needs something. Shit, in fact as I was typing this my husband hollered at me needing help with something or other. drives me fucking nuts. anyway, i miss you, i'm here, sorry for not commenting for so long

stacey said...

darn, i feel bad for pressuring you for an update! :) my first two were 2.5 and baby, so i totally understand!! it is just a season. the hard stuff will take a backseat to all the wonderfulness they give!