Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Still alive, barely

Ugh. So I'm ringing in the New Year with what may be a cold/sinus infection/curse of the snot gods or all of the above. Whatever. I feel like crap. I have been in my pajamas since 4 this afternoon when my husband arrived home from work 30 minutes after I arrived home from Dallas. It is now 9:45 and the car is still packed with my luggage from the trip but Bear is in bed and Chinese food and mint chocolate chip ice cream have been consumed so the day isn't a complete loss.

Christmas was good for the most part. Normally I get really excited about Christmas every year and I am really sad when it is over but honestly this year I am just relieved it is over. If Santa really loved me he would have had all my Christmas decorations and my tree up in the attic when I got home from visiting my Dad but alas, he doesn't so I still have to tackle that when I feel better.

This year was relatively easy in terms of Christmas plans as everyone except my Dad came to see us so instead of visiting my in laws (who are divorced and live 2 hours apart) and my parents (who are divorced and live 4 hours apart) I only had to drive to Dallas the weekend after Christmas. Which was doubly good because Bear got a nasty ear infection the day after Christmas complete with yucky drainage and a nasty cough to boot. We ended up taking him to Urgent Care the next day and confirming my fears that the tubes we put in last October have fallen out. We got him all fixed up on antibiotics and cough syrup so its all OK now.

He also managed to have his first scary injury the day after Christmas when he decided to pull on his stocking which was held in place by a nice, heavy, metal stocking hanger off the mantel. Luckily he pulled at an angle so it grazed off his head and just left a nice scratch. It was a bit of a heart stopper for a moment there as it seemed to happen in slow motion and no one could stop him before it fell. Plus head injuries, no matter how small, bleed A LOT. Luckily no stitches were needed and the offensive decorative stocking hangers have been tossed and we will now be screwing in small hooks from our mantel instead for future years stockings.

Present wise, it was a lovely Christmas. I got 4 pairs of pink pajamas (2 from my mom, 1 from my sister and 1 from my grandmother plus matching slippers) which considering that around April I will be spending a lot of time in pajamas I think it was a good call on their part. I also managed to fry my cell phone with a leaky sippy cup in the purse so I used Christmas cash to buy a new maroon LG enV2 phone which I love. It only took 2 visits to the Verizon store and a visit to Circuit City to get it since the people at the Verizon store I went to don't seem to care about actually selling phones to people or anything. The guy at Circuit City was awesome though and the price was much better so it all turned out well. I also got a new Click Free backup drive which I love, love, love and have now backed up mine and my husband's computers. If you aren't backing up your data regularly because you think its a pain you need to buy one of these. Seriously. It rocks and takes up very little space. My husband and I both unknowingly bought each other digital picture frames for Christmas and I wonder now how I went so long without one. I really love them both. I won the wife of the year award for buying my husband an awesome universal remote to replace the 3 remotes we were using. Plus he got me various things including a Sephora gift card which I am still contemplating how to use.

Anyways, I think that about brings me up to date. Its been a crazy last few days and I need to get some rest so hopefully I can kick this cold. Happy New Years! Please drink something for me.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Another tag: 7 random things

OK, I am totally a slacker when it comes to tag posts. So I got tagged like a month ago by Erin at Beading Mom and I completely forgot about it until today when I got tagged by JP and the Boys. So while I am at it I will go ahead and do the 7 random things about me post I got tagged for. Sorry for the delay Erin.

7 random things about me

1. I hate being the center of attention. I was more nervous at my wedding about being up in front of all the people than I was about the whole till death do you part thing. This goes for all things revolving around me like birthday parties, baby showers, graduation, etc. I prefer being the person in charge behind the scenes. When I was in middle school I was the stage manager for the school play because I love being involved, planning and being in charge I just don't want to be the one out there in front of everyone.

2. I hate driving if I am traveling with other people but I don't mind it if I am by myself. I do my best thinking in the car and I love listening to my music as loud as I want it. But when you add in other people I just want to sit back and let them concentrate on the driving so I can stare out the window or read a book.

3. In my mind I am still frozen at 22. I don't know why but for some reason when I have to think about my age I have to remind myself that I am 28. Same with my clothing sizes. I pick up stuff at the store that might have fit me in college but definitely not now. I enjoy getting older and having the stability but for some reason I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that I am closing in on 30.

4. I get pedicures regularly and hate being caught with chipped toenail polish yet I bite my fingernails and never paint them. I cannot get my fingernails in good shape no longer what I try.

5. I am a beer drinker. I used to hate beer. I was always the girl at the bars in college drinking the girly drinks or taking shots but never drinking a beer. Now there is nothing that makes me happier than an ice cold Shiner Bock at the end of a long day. Obviously not right now while I am pregnant but when I am not. At a party you will usually catch me out back drinking beer with the guys while the women mix up pina coladas in the kitchen. Although I will occasionally indulge in a good slushy frozen drink if I am in the mood.

6. I love spicy food. My favorites are Mexican and Cajun. You won't catch me eating eggs without Tabasco or a sandwich without peppers. Pregnancy has actually made my craving for spicy worse. Bear also already favors the spicy food too.

7. I hate being cold worse than anything. If my ears get cold I get blinding headaches. I do appreciate a little cold weather especially around this time of year but by cold I mean lows in the 30's at most. I don't mind it if I don't have to go out in it but if I have things to do it better not be freezing outside. Good thing I live in Texas.

Tagged : Picture Post

JP & the Boys tagged me for a fun picture game. Here is how it works. You must go to your documents folder and go to your 6th picture folder, then go to the 6th picture in that folder and post it on your blog. Tell us a story about that picture. I had fun doing this one because it gave me a chance to go back and view my pictures from around the time Bear was born. I got my laptop when I was pregnant with him. The 6th file in my pictures is actually from my baby shower and the 6th picture is just a pile of presents. Sorry I don't have anything more titillating for you.


I have to share the picture before that one with you because my petits fours for the party were just too cute. They matched my invitations perfectly.



I won't tag anyone else for this but if you are looking for a fun blog post you are welcome to consider yourself tagged.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

The old bait and switch

So a couple of months ago I decided to start working on redecorating the guest room for Bear since the nursery will soon be commandered by his little brother. I figured since Christmas was coming up and his birthday it would be a great way to get the grandparents to help me redecorate and not buy him a bunch more toys. I located a bedding set at Target that I absolutely loved so I trotted down to the local Target and snagged up every matching piece they had in stock. This included the comforter, throw pillow, bear paw print sheets, red lantern lamp, bear piggy bank, curtains and stuffed bear. My mom volunteered to buy all of this stuff as Bear's Christmas/birthday gift. I purchased all of this about a month and a half ago. I put all the stuff away in the guest bedroom closet until we had the room ready.

Fast forward to today. We have painted his room, assembled the much assembly required furniture, and hung the curtains. The mattress was on order and my husband picked it up today and hauled it in. I excitedly dug out all the bedding accessories and made up the new bed only to discover that I did not get this bedspread at the store but instead got this one. Now the one I ended up with is nice and goes fine with the color scheme but it is not what I thought I was purchasing. Target had put all the pieces that matched the bedspread I thought I was getting with the bedspread that I ended up with. Because it was all folded up I didn't realize it didn't have the little bear mural until this evening. Now I still like the bedspread I got but it irks me that I got something other than what I thought I was getting especially since I bought all the other little pieces that match the whole bear/camping scene. I guess I could try to hunt down the reciept from 1 1/2 months ago and repackage the bedspread and return it and purchase the correct on online. I don't know. I may just buy the other one too and keep this one as a backup as you can never have too many linens with a small child. Grrr...I will just have to learn to start paying closer attention when I buy stuff.

On a good note, I went to the dentist today and no cavities! Whew! I celebrated by making sugar cookies with icing and sprinkles cause nothing screams good oral hygiene like sugar topped with more sugar.

Yum.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Silver Bells

Bear had his first Christmas program yesterday at Mother's Day Out. I had honestly forgotten about it until the teacher asked me if I was coming when I dropped him off yesterday. Luckily it was a pretty informal little show so I didn't feel too horrible about the fact that I had forgotten and dressed him in a gap sweatshirt and jeans versus a cute outfit.

I was the only parent there without a video camera and/or camera. I am such a slacker. The program was basically each class from toddlers to older 4s getting up and doing some kind of Christmas song which none of them actually sang and most forgot to play their instruments for. Bear's class was the youngest so they basically sat on the stage and shook little felt mitten things with bells on them to Jingle Bells. I am turning into such a mommy sap because I was almost in tears over 2 minutes of my kid shaking bells on a stage. I imagine he won't be able to take me anywhere by the time he does some serious accomplishments. He was really cute though and I am totally not biased. He was one of the few kids getting into the music and he was swaying and clapping and shaking those bells. He was even waving to the audience.

Seeing that makes me so proud not just because of what he did but because he wasn't shy. I was so incredibly painfully shy until sometime in later elementary school that I would have never been able to do something like that. At my first dance recital when I was 3 they never got me on stage. I stood on the side of the stage and wailed. My sister was always the one that hammed it up and I always hid behind my mother. So it was a proud day for me yesterday. Which totally made up for the fact that I was sick as a dog the night before with what I think was a less severe one of my gallstone (or whatever) attacks. Plus it was cold, wet and gross yesterday and the lady checking me out at the grocery store was rude about my coupons and wouldn't take some of them. I really needed that little bell ringing pick me up.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Misc.

So it has been a crazy past week or so. We survived Thanksgiving with both of our families. My husband got sick Saturday night and spent Saturday and Sunday with fever, chills and a sore throat. Besides that it was a good trip. I did not get up and brave the Black Friday morning shopping but my husband did. This Christmas is now officially sponsered by Sears, at least for him.

We had already put up the Christmas tree/decorations the weekend before Thanksgiving so I could return home and relax in my newly festive home. I still have to convince someone to go up in the attic and get down the lighted reindeer for the front yard but besides that we are covered. My parents gave us our family Christmas money in advance this year (my mom was too lazy to buy gifts so we all got money) so we hit Target this week and bought Bear furniture for his new room. Dear Lord, it should be illegal to require a pregnant woman to assemble furniture with her husband. They should just include do it yourself divorce papers in the box along with the allen wrench. Actually, it really hasn't been that bad, yet. We are only half way through putting together the dresser then we have to do the nightstand and bookshelf.

I had an experience this week that left me really upset. I really don't want to go into details but basically I got scammed. Not completely scammed but more mislead into purchasing something for what I thought was a good cause only to find out that the guy lied through his teeth and was just telling me a good story to get me to buy his product. Every word out of his mouth was a lie and a ploy to sell his product. I ended up sending in a cancellation on the order, reporting it to the BBB and stopping payment on my check. It wasn't a large amount of money but it was the principle of the matter. His story was really good but after he left I just got the feeling that something wasn't right so I started looking into the organization he said he was raising money for and found out it didn't exist. Then I looked up the company that I wrote the check to and found several complaints of other people all over the country who had been fed almost the exact same story by these guys.

I am usually a very suspicious person and I scoff at those who fall for obvious ploys like the Nigerian letter or lottery schemes. But this was a nice looking college age kid who said he lived in my neighborhood and told me his major and what church he went to. I felt like such an idiot I cried myself to sleep. It wasn't the money just more the fact that there are people like that out in the world who can scam people looking them right in the eye standing on their front porch smiling. At least I figured it out before he cashed my check but still, it really bothers me. Then I watched Oprah today and felt a little better since she did a show on professional scammers and those people had lost thousands. And the poor woman who was waiting at the airport in a white dress for six hours for a guy she met on the internet who had proposed? Broke.my.heart. I hope karma bites these guys on the butt. Reminds me of the movie, Matchstick Men. If you haven't seen it you should.

Anyways, that aside everything else is going well. I saw the Twilight movie with some girlfriends right before Thanksgiving. I didn't love it but I knew it would be hard to top the book. I didn't feel it was very well cast and I thought the whole movie was a little rushed to try to hit all the high points of the book. It wasn't terrible but I hope the next movie is a little better.

I also haven't forgotten I got tagged for a meme, I just haven't gotten around to it yet. I'll get there.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Big Reveal

It's a BOY! Yes, another one. At least that's what the sonogram lady said. I will take her word for it because I really couldn't tell much from that angle. He did not want to open his legs so it made it harder to tell but she seemed confident that there was definitely something there that did not belong on a girl.

I am so glad to have the sonogram over. They gave me instructions yesterday not to pee for 2 hours before the sonogram and then to drink 40 oz of water to insure I had a full bladder. I'm not sure who they are performing sonograms on but my bladder does not require 40 oz of water to become full. I drank about 30 oz most of which were in the last hour before the appointment so I wouldn't suffer too badly. I dreaded the coming in with a full bladder part but she was very quick taking her measurements and they even had a bathroom directly outside the sonogram room specifically for sonogram patients.

Then I got to lay back and enjoy the rest of the sonogram. As far as I could see everything looked fine but I will see my doctor Monday to go over the results. It measured me at 18 weeks 5 days which equates to an April 18th due date.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

T minus 1 day and counting

So we are 1 day from the big reveal. I am so ready to see this baby and make sure that it is ok. Finding out the sex is the icing on the cake. So we all need to pray that this baby won't be feeling modest tommorrow afternoon. I have been keeping busy to help the time pass while I wait.

My best friend from college had her baby shower this weekend. She just happens to live one town over from my dad and in the same town as my dad's parents so I got to throw in a visit to them as well. Plus my dad watched Bear for us almost all day Saturday so I could go to the shower and my husband could hang out with the guys. Then we all got to go out to dinner. I am so spoiled having two weekend in a row where I got to go out to dinner with my husband alone.

The baby shower was great and she totally cleaned up. There were at least 35 people there and it took her an hour to open the gifts. All that adorable pink girly stuff sure did get me thinking about what it would be like to have a girl next time. I guess I don't have to wonder long.

I am also so ready for Thanksgiving next week. I am ready to eat meals prepared mostly by other people and spend more time with my family. The only drawback is that Bear discovered this weekend at my dad's house that he no longer has to be contained by the pack and play. He already expressed his displeasure at sleeping in it during our last few trips out of town but this weekend he upped the ante by crawling out of it multiple times during the night. I fear what 4 days out of town over Thanksgiving will be like. It wouldn't be bad if he would just sleep in bed with us but apparently that would just not be as much fun as jumping on our heads at 4 a.m. Plus he refuses to nap when we travel.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Germs, Germs go away

I meant to write this week but there was a pox upon my house. My husband came home sick Monday from work with a 103 fever, chills, runny nose, and general cold like symptoms. So I spent Monday evening tending to him. Then Tuesday night I had another one of my attacks. I still suspect it is gallstones but since the doctors weren't able to find anything during the ultrasound a few months ago we are still in the dark on what it is for sure. I was pretty puny Wednesday from being sick and in pain all Tuesday night. Thursday I felt a lot better so I cleaned and cooked dinner and went about my business as usual. Then I got a stomach bug on Thursday night/Friday early morning. I assume it was a stomach bug since my husband ate the same thing as me Thursday night and was fine. So I was sick as a dog aaalllll day Friday. My husband was sick the whole week with his cold like symptoms so he finally broke down and went to the doctor Friday. He has an upper respiratory infection so he got loaded up with antibiotics and ear drops. Bear is fine except for a never ending runny nose and teething so thats good.

It was such a horrible and draining week we spent most of Saturday laying around trying to rest. My inlaws came in Saturday evening to stay the night and watch Bear so that we could go out. I thought about cancelling but since going out alone with my husband is such a rare event I decided I could suck it up. We had a wonderful time. We got to go see the Changeling with Angelina Jolie. Not probably the best movie to see as a parent, especially a pregnant parent, but it was a really good movie. Then we had dinner at Olive Garden followed by Starbucks (decaf for me). They had peppermint mochas so that was a special treat. We got home late and the baby and the grandparents were already in bed so we got to crash. The grandparents even got up with Bear this morning so we could sleep in a little. Plus my husband's stepmom brought us gumbo, rice, and crackers she made so I wouldn't have to cook today.

Also on the plus side this week, I am almost positive I am feeling the first kicks this week. I love that feeling. It is my favorite part of pregnancy. Only 1 1/2 more weeks till I have my sonogram. Squee!!

Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween

I have eaten even more candy than I thought possible today. But what's the fun in being pregnant during all the holidays if you can't enjoy it? I did what I do every single year. I buy a ton of candy the week before then freak out 2 hours before dark on Halloween and send my husband out for more thinking we couldn't possibly have enough. We had a lot of trick or treaters this year but not as many as last.

Bear did so awesome. We took him outside at 6:00 to take pictures while it was still light out then did a little trick or treating just on our block. He knocked on the doors and clapped when people gave him candy. When we got him home we stripped him out of his costume and put him in his pj's but let him stay up for awhile to hand out candy. He LOVED it! I ran to the door each and every time it rang and waved at all the kids. Then he watched out the side windows for more trick or treaters. He had such a blast. I really didn't expect him to get so into Halloween at this early of an age. I thought he would be more shy. He positively squealed when we opened the door and all the kids were standing there in costumes. That was the most fun Halloween I think I have ever had. That is one of the best things about being a parent, getting to enjoy life vicariously through your child.



Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Naps for the masses

Time for another bi-monthly update. I am really sucking at this blogging thing lately. I am still tired ALL.THE.TIME. I am now firmly esconced in my second trimester at 15 weeks 1 day today. I went to the doctor for a checkup and all was well. No weight gain, yet. I did get to hear the heartbeat. Only 3 more weeks till I find out what we are having. I should be able to pencil y'all in for another post around then. I kid.

I have been skirting around the edges of the blogsphere the past few weeks trying to ride out the election. I am so tired of the anger and rhetoric. Pretty much everyone has said everything that could possibly be said so can we move along yet? Isn't there an election in 2010 we can talk about? It has been getting ugly here even in my little conservative town. I have election fatigue for sure and I haven't even voted yet.

I sadly had my last meeting with my college bible study group I was leading tonight. They will be ending the semester soon and then won't be back until the middle of January. With the baby due in mid-April at the latest I felt like I should go ahead and end the group now rather than leave them hanging without a leader in the middle of the spring semester. It was very sad.

I completely skipped over my 1 year blog-o-versary 2 weeks ago. I meant to write about it but then the pregnancy naps won out over usage of my free time. Naps are a highly under utilized resource. I definitely think the world would be a better place if we all had naptime every day. Perhaps if I ever run for President I will run on a platform endorsing a nationwide mandatory naptime. I could probably bring about world peace.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Life is going on but I need a nap

Just dropping by to say I am still alive. I promise I have been thinking about blogging but I just seem to fall short on the actual logging in and blogging thing. I was going to post pictures from last weekend at the pumpkin patch but I haven't managed to upload the pictures yet. I am still tired. Still pregnant. And sick. I have had a cough for 3 days and it is getting worse. Bear and I will be visiting family in Houston this weekend and I really don't want to be sick. Ugh.

Bear has been sleeping less and less which is not helping the tiredness. He refused to nap yesterday and woke up way too early this morning. He is also starting into the picky eating stage I have been dreading. What was good yesterday is no longer good today. 2 bites of the banana he begged for and he is done. A few raisins and the rest go on the floor. Applesauce is now the food of the devil and must be refused or spit out.

All in all we are fine its just the little day to day things that are driving me crazy. Maybe I just need a nap. Is 8:00 a.m. too early?

Monday, October 6, 2008

The cloud to go with my silver lining

So yesterday was my birthday. The big 28. It really does go by entirely too fast after turning 21. If it wasn't for the presents I would just skip birthdays all together. On Saturday my mom sent me a beautiful pink wool peacoat I was eyeing at LL Bean. Because the only thing better than one LL Bean peacoat for the non-existant Texas cold is a second LL Bean peacoat only in pink.

My husband surprised me yesterday morning with a bright, shiny new Wii. I am so excited. I already beat him at bowling multiple times. We went out to dinner last night with friends sans kiddos. It was wonderful. We spent 2 1/2 hours eating and catching up.

Today I decided to take Bear to the doctor to get his cough listened to. I figured it was allergies as he has no other symptoms but an occasional runny nose. The doctor confirmed my suspicion and told us to give him Benadryl. Since I was there anyways we stopped by the flu clinic in the lobby to get our shots. Of course I couldn't get the flu mist because I am pregnant so I have spent the day feeling like my arm is going to fall off after the lovely shot.

I asked my husband to pick up milk, Benadryl for Bear and Tylenol for my arm on his way home. He made it home with 2 out of 3. Guess what he forgot? So he goes back out for Tylenol which makes Bear hysterical since his beloved Dada left so quickly after coming home.

Then my friend called and left a message asking me to watch her son tomorrow while she goes to a church lunch meeting. I already have tentative plans for a late lunch tomorrow with another friend. Plus a list of errands I was going to get done in my precious 6 hours of baby free time. She knows this is my only day a week to get things done without Bear. Her son is in MDO Mondays and Wednesdays. I am just irritated that she gave me basically no notice and she is asking on my one free day. I called and left her a message telling her that I can do it if she can pick him up before my late lunch but I haven't heard back from her so I am hoping she found someone else. I still have a bad taste in my mouth from the last time I watched him for her but I am trying to be a good friend and let that go.

Friday, October 3, 2008

The pregnancy so far, a recap

* Morning Sickness - I was blessed last time to have virtually no morning sickness. This baby is apparently offended by anything not made of sugar, chocolate, and cool whip. Oddly enough I am not a fan of cool whip but apparently the baby is. I have spent lots of quality time with the toilet as my punishment for eating anything other than the baby approved foods.

* Tiredness - I know I am a glutton for punishment having 2 kids so closely together but there is something to be said for having one that still naps during the day. Which means Momma can nap too. Yes, I am aware I am totally screwed come April.

* Peeing - Dear Lord, I did not miss this part of being pregnant. Sleeping would be better if I could just get a catheter over here please.

* Cravings - I am only slightly exaggerating about the sugar, chocolate, cool whip thing. I had a bad sweet tooth with Bear but this goes beyond that because I actually get sick trying to eat other healthier options. Although Jack in the Box tacos are approved and far too many have been consumed. It has been getting slightly better. Weeks 7-8 were the worst.

* Clothes - Still pretty much fitting in pre-pregnancy clothes which I find surprising because I expected to pop earlier with my second one. I did pick up a few cute baby doll tops at Motherhood Maternity that really don't look like maternity tops and cover the bloat nicely.

* Bloody nose - This is new this time around. I have been waking up more nights than not with a bloody nose. I also get them periodically throughout the day. Doctor says this is normal. Does not make it any less gross.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

And the announcement you've all been waiting for..

OK, so maybe you haven't been waiting for an announcement but I have been waiting to make it. This has been part of the reason for my lack of writing lately.

Yes, I am pregnant. Again.

We are so excited. If all goes well we are looking to have a new member of our little family around April 22, 2008. Unless this one decides to take after his or her brother and pop out early. Lets cross our fingers and legs that we won't need to go through that again.

I have known since 2 days before I missed my period because I am impatient like that but I am also superstitious so I decided to hold off telling anyone until after my appointment today. I am 11 weeks and 1 day today. The doctor scared me to death today trying to find the heartbeat but he finally did and all is well.

You have no idea how hard it was not to come to my blog and complain about the morning, noon, and night sickness. The kind where you throw up writing the grocery list because the thought of food is more than your stomach can handle. And the exhaustion. And the peeing. But it is all worth it. And now I can come and share it all with you.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Becoming financially dependent

I was at the mall today picking up my contact lenses and I started thinking about how different my life is now. Six months ago I was getting ready to quit my job and I was really nervous about the finances and about being fully financially dependent on my husband for the first time in our relationship. Six years ago I finishing my last semester of college and preparing for being completely on my own financially. Both were very nerve wracking times. I'm not sure which is a bigger leap of faith, trusting that you can support yourself or trusting that someone else can support you.

That gets me thinking about how much things have changed in the way we manage our money since we got together. I met my husband 2 weeks after I finished college, right around the time I got my very first full time employee paycheck. He moved in 4 months later into my tiny studio apartment. We were both very broke and we split the bills straight down the middle. Whenever one of us had an unexpected bill pop up the other pitched in but besides that we were pretty even. I remember how touched I was when he gave, not loaned, me $40 to help pay a medical bill because that was a lot of money to us at that time. We eventually moved into a bigger apartment and got married but continued to split the bills. We paid our half and set a certain amount in a savings account but the rest of our money was ours.

One year to the week after we got married we got a joint checking account. That was a big step for us. We continued to keep our own separate accounts with a set allowance per month for play money. That worked for a few months but then we started trying to seriously save for a house and decided to quit doing the monthly allowances and just save everything we could. Eight months after the wedding, 2 weeks after Christmas, my husband got laid off. He was laid off for 2 months which stretched us even further on our budget and house savings. We bought our house in May 2006 and I got pregnant a month later. In September 2006 I got notice that I was going to be laid off the following spring right around the expected arrival time of our son.

My layoff was extended out until May 2007 and Bear came early in January 2007. Due to his early arrival I took an extra month of unpaid maternity leave to stay home a little longer. Then after my lay off I didn't work for 6 weeks. I think the layoffs and the unpaid maternity leave helped us to learn to become more financially trusting of each other. So when it came time for me to put in my notice in February 2008 at my new job I knew we would be fine and I knew my husband would take care of us. However I still had that little fear whispering in the back of my head about how I would have to curb my spending not just due to budget constraints but also because its "his" money. And for the first few months home it did feel a little that way not because of anything he did but just because it was a big adjustment for me to be dependent on someone again.

Last time I was dependent on someone was when my parents supported me and they set me a budget and I didn't have unlimited access to their funds like I do with my husband. Yet as I sat and reflected on that today I realized that it has finally clicked into place and I finally feel like it is "our" money and I feel comfortable spending it like I did when I was bringing in my half.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Little Miss Anti-Social

I have been feeling kind of anti-social lately. I usually have fun when I make myself go out and do things but it is really hard to get the motivation to leave the house. We went to our neighbors' house yesterday for their daughter's 3rd birthday party. It was a fun party with lots of food, games, a pinata, and of course, a bouncy house. It was all good letting the kids get hopped up on junk food and bounce their little heads off in the bouncy house until the birthday girl threw up in the middle of the living room while everyone was eating their burgers. Luckily we are all parents so no one even batted an eye or stopped eating. My tolerance for grossness has definitely gone up since I gave birth.

Even though it was a good party I just couldn't get myself in the socializing mood. Making small talk seemed like a chore and I felt like the comments I did make came across wrong. Usually we are the last out the door since we live so close but last night we were the first ones to go home. This anti-social behavior has even extended to blogging. I can barely bring myself to update. I'm still reading everyone else's blogs I am just in a funk with my own. I have been tagged for a meme and I got an award so I promise I will get to those soon.

In other news, I did buy myself one birthday present already since my birthday is a mere 2 weeks from today. It was the Thursday markdown at LL Bean last week and I picked it up for $49.00 and free shipping. Now I just have to wait for it to get cold enough here in Texas to wear it. I also picked up Bear's Halloween costume. I am not a fan of the traditional Disney character costumes or the scary ones for kids. I thought this was too adorable and my husband is a total golf addict.

Tomorrow I get to go blow the rest of my birthday money my Mom is sending me on an eye exam, contacts, and glasses. I live on the wild side.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Bear - Doing his part to clean up from Hurricane Ike





Don't worry. All we got here was a little rain and lots of wind. No serious damage this far inland.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Tonight I hosted my first small group for church. Our church building is very small and barely has room for the children's Sunday school classes and the adults to attend service. Since the church began 3 1/2 years ago they have had small groups hosted in people's homes instead of traditional Sunday school classes. It is great because you can attend multiple groups and they change out each semester.

I have attended many groups in the past 2 1/2 years we been at the church but I have never led a group before. I have never prayed out loud in front of people before. Even more nerve wracking was that my group is for college women. We have an enormous amount of college students in our church so we have multiple college groups right now. I've stressed about my decision to sign up as a group leader since I made the commitment last month.

What if they think I am out of touch? I know I am only 6 1/2 years out of college but to a college kid 6 1/2 years is a lifetime. I struggled all day today with what I wanted to say tonight. We are doing a specific study so I have the material to cover but on a personal level I wasn't sure where to go. I ended up being honest and open without TMI, I hope. I want them to know I was not a saint, not even close when I was their age.

I talked a lot tonight. They were all really shy at first so I felt like I just talked and talked. Now I am sitting here over analyzing everything I said. I have a tendency to talk fast and say anything that pops into my brain whenever I am nervous. I hope they don't all think I am a total dork and not show up next week. Luckily it is only a 6 week study...

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Needing inspiration

Bear survived his first day of Mother's Day Out. Although I am a little suspicious of the progress sheet they sent home with him. Ate all of his food? Then why was there still food in his lunch sack when I picked him up? Napped? In a room full of other toddlers and toys with no bars to keep him locked in? I doubt it. Whatever. He seemed happy when I picked him up. It was a little strange having all that free time to myself. Don't worry I took advantage of it and used the time wisely by going to the new Target and going home to watch DVR'd episodes of One Tree Hill (OMG!), The Hills, and The Closer. I consider that time well spent.

Now on to my next issue. My birthday is approaching in a month. 28! OMG. Anyway, I need to provide gift ideas to my family members pretty soon and I realized I have no idea what I want. This happens every year. Between Sept-Dec. my mind goes blank and I can't think of a single good thing I need/want. Ask me in February! I will have a list a mile long and then I kick myself for not thinking of that at my birthday or Christmas.

So, my question for you dear readers is what are you coveting? Reasonably priced things of course. A car would be nice but probably not within the budget. Give me ideas. Jewelry, clothes, CDs, DVDs, electronic gizmos, books, bags, shoes. Whatever makes your heart go pitter patter. Help me get some inspiration so this birthday I will get something I really love instead of just telling them to get me whatever. Links are most welcome.

Monday, September 1, 2008

My readers are so respectful

I am so impressed with my readers. You are some classy guys and gals. I brought up some pretty controversial issues in my last post and everyone was so respectful about making their points. I really appreciate that because I was really afraid to open my comments after I posted.

It seems in the past week that the Internet has exploded over this election in the biggest frenzy since the primaries. Whew. I won't even touch the controversy over Palin. I even refrained from making ugly comments on blogs that vilified her. You inspire me.

Did you have a good Labor Day weekend? Mine was pretty good. Boring, but good. Bear starts Mother's Day out tomorrow. I admit I am a little nervous. Daycare was just such a bad experience I feel like I have post-traumatic stress. Hopefully this will go better.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Tired of being politically correct and not wanting to offend anyone

I think at some point in blogging you have to come to the realization that you can't please everyone. There will be those who think you are closed minded, intolerant or downright stupid. Some realize this when they start their blog and others take longer. They plant their flag in the dirt and declare that THIS is their space and in their space they have the freedom to say what they want no matter who it offends. I get so tired of being polite and cowering in the corner afraid that I will lose readers because I am a conservative Christian.

I wasn't always conservative. I didn't always go to church. I actually didn't step foot in a church for over 7 years after leaving high school except when I went home to visit my parents. I even used to be pro-choice and I used to shake my head at the people who picketed the Planned Parenthood when I drove by. But somewhere along the way in getting a job, paying taxes, buying a house and starting a family I found my priorities and views shifted.

This week in light of the Democratic National Convention people have been circulating some videos that caught my attention and broke my heart.

This one about Oprah.

Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. - John 14:6

And this one about Obama and late term abortion posted on Mommy Zabs

Psalm 139:13-16 (New International Version) - For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

The Women



I saw the previews for this film recently and added it to my must see list. I love the actresses involved and the entire premise of the movie. So, when I was contacted by Dove's marketing agency, Rocket XL, about an opportunity to see this film and receive some great Dove items I was really excited. They asked me to spread the word about Dove's film project The Women Behind “The Women”.

According to the promotional website, "This short film follows 16-year-old teen journalist Cammy Nelson behind-the-scenes of The Women to learn, first-hand, how Hollywood creates the images we see on screen, highlighting the work and people involved in making a major motion picture come to life."

Please stop by Dove's website to:

-View exclusive behind-the-scenes footage of The Women & The Women Behind “The Women”
-Read the Director’s Diary, written by Diane English
-Go Behind-the-Scenes with Dove teen journalist Cammy Nelson
-Download self-esteem building tools for girls, moms and mentors
-Enter for a chance to win one of 100 pairs of movie tickets each day between 9/3 and 9/19

Here is the great swag they sent me for my trouble. Did I mention how much I love Dove?


I'll make sure to update with a movie review as soon as I get to go see it. It is due out in theaters September 12, 2008.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Another post where I complain about helping people..

My date on Friday with my hubby was lovely. Wonderful. Everything I hoped for. I forgot how much we need that us time. No picking up sippy cups or inhaling our meal before a major meltdown. We got to sit through a 3 hour movie (Batman). What luxury.

Saturday I woke up with a sore throat and a runny nose. Thank you Texas allergies. I made it through the weekend and spent yesterday nursing myself back to health. Today I needed to drop off Bear's MDO paperwork so he would be ready to start next week. At 5:00 yesterday a friend of mine called and left a message but I didn't check it because I was still feeling pretty crappy. She called again at 9:45 so I thought it must be important.

She needed me to watch her 2 1/2 year old today so she could go to a doctor's appointment. No problem, the appointment was at 1:45 I don't mind helping out. The first red flag should have been when she said she wanted to drop him off at 12. The doctor's office is only 5 minutes from my house but something about it was his nap time and how she didn't want to bring him over in the middle. She would bring him here at noon and get him settled in so he would nap until she got back.

Imagine my surprise when she calls at 11:25 today saying she is right down the road so why doesn't she go ahead and bring him by so he can eat and get settled in? At 11:30 she is on my doorstep with him and his lunch. At 11:35 she was out the door, mind you her appointment was at 1:45. She explained that she was going to bring her husband lunch to work so he could use his lunch hour for the appointment? This is 2 hours and 10 minutes before the appointment and her husband works 5 minutes from my house.

I feed her son and put him down at 12:15 for his nap. At 1:45 he is up and ready to play. Her husband calls at 2:05 and says the doctor is delayed so they may be later than they thought. At 4:00 she calls to say she is dropping her husband back off at work. At 4:10 she is back to get her son, 4 1/2 hours after she dropped him off. I explained he only took an 1 1/2 hour nap and she said that was normal which is not how she represented it when she called yesterday evening.

I don't mind helping people out. I understand it is hard to get people to watch your child in the middle of the day but I really think you should set the right expectations and perhaps even give people more notice that you need a babysitter. The appointment was scheduled weeks in advance. I just felt taken advantage of when she left. She thanked me several times but it just seemed like a case of asking forgiveness later being easier than asking permission.

I have watched her son several times over the past 2 1/2 years and this is the longest she has left him with me but I really don't want to set a precedent. She said as she was leaving that she has another doctor's appointment next week but she will try to get someone else to watch him since it is at 8:15 in the morning. I wanted to say I would help but I didn't.

Am I just being overly sensitive?

Friday, August 22, 2008

This week went by fast. I didn't do a lot but it just flew by. I did find time to enroll Bear in Mother's Day Out though. Well I still have to drop the paperwork off but I did go by and give them my deposit check. Yay! 6 hours of freedom per week for the low monthly price of $81.00. Which isn't all that low in my opinion but still totally worth it. I'll admit I am a little nervous. I think I still have a little Post-tramatic stress from daycare. Which is why we are only starting off with one day a week this first semester. I might bump it up to 2 in the spring.

Tonight my inlaws are supposed to be coming up and staying the night so they can watch Bear for us while we go on a date. I am so excited. We haven't been out alone since our anniversary in May. I am in dire need of a date night. Is it sad that my whole post revolves around leaving my child? I promise he is still wonderful despite his new found love of temper tantrums.

He has started learning all kinds of new words and phrases which crack me up. Yesterday we were walking past the toy aisle at Target and he kept pointing and going See! See! Ball! So of course, the enabler that I am, I totally bought him a ball which he forgot about as soon as we got to the car.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Poor planning

One of the girls in my Wednesday night church group had a baby a couple of weeks ago. As is custom, the other girls from church signed up to bring meals every other night for approximately 2 1/2 weeks. Today marked the 2nd week of this. I signed up to bring tonight's meal. Other people had sent stuff like a pizza but I wanted to do something special and homemade.

I went to the store yesterday and bought all the ingredients for my homemade lasagna and garlic bread. I spent over an hour preparing it yesterday and put it in the fridge so I could take it over today and they could just heat it up and eat it. I spent the whole day today running around doing grocery shopping, stopping at Walgreens, getting a much needed mani/pedi so 6 p.m. rolled around before I knew it.

I flew in the door at a little after 6 and explained to my husband that I needed to take the meal over. Of course I should have called first but I was running late and since this is the 2nd week of this I thought she would be expecting me. Especially since someone had arranged all these meals and sent out reminder emails, etc. My husband wanted to come along so we could pick up dinner while we were out.

We drove the 20 minutes across town to her house and of course she isn't there. I try calling the girl that leads our group to get her phone number since they didn't put it on the sign up sheet or the reminder email with the directions. She doesn't answer. So frustrating. Then my husband is lecturing me about how you should ALWAYS call, blah, blah, blah. I leave her a note on the door and we go to eat. She doesn't call for 2 hours.

Then when she calls she is all, I'm sorry but I didn't know you were bringing anything tonight. Then she and asks if I can just refrigerate it and bring it tomorrow. I can but it is just frustrating because I spent all this time shopping, preparing the meal and driving it over just to have to drive it over again tomorrow. People have been bringing meals every other day for over a week and will continue to for the next week it seems she should have known. Obviously someone dropped the ball. Now I have my husband telling me that he doesn't want me wasting the gas to drive back over there tomorrow.

Grrr...

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Flashing by...

THEN: Bear swimming in my Mom's pool last summer

NOW: Bear swimming in my Mom's pool last week


He is growing up so fast. My mom and I went shopping last Friday and picked up a wooden growth chart at Steinmart to hang on his wall. I've always wanted to track his growth visually but I had a hard time finding a growth chart I liked. We proudly marked off his height on Sunday when I got home and got it hung. We'll check it again in 6 months when he turns 2. Just saying that freaks me out a little.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Pain

Bear and I are in Houston visiting my Mom's house for a few days. This afternoon I decided to take him into the backyard to play a bit while my Mom was out running errands. In the course of play he picked up a small decorative rock in the flower bed and before the the thought of him dropping it on his foot had finished crossing my mind he dropped it on his big toe. This caused a small cut on his toe which started bleeding.

I picked him up and tore through the house looking for bandaids and Neosporin leaving a tiny trail of blood droplets. He had stopped crying before I even got him bandaged up. It just one of those millions of tiny accidents that kids have but yet it still shook me up.

People say when you have kids you will feel every heartache and pain as acutely as they do. I believe you feel it even more so. Long after they have moved on you still feel that shaky terror that you felt when you first heard that hurt cry. Whether the pain is big or small you take it on as your own and you nurse that memory long past their physical pain.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Another sleepy Monday..

How is it that at the end of every weekend I am so relieved it is over? I used to love the weekends. Look forward to them. Savor them even. The past few weekends have just been such a whirlwind that I feel like I can't catch my breath.

I didn't think me or my husband would survive Friday. He spent from 5:30 a.m. Friday morning until 9 a.m. Saturday laying on our bedroom floor with a few pillows and blankets moaning in agony. It was awful. I wanted to help but there was nothing I could do but fetch him food, ice and Ibuprofen while trying to keep my child from using him as a jungle gym. His last spasm hit around 7 p.m. causing him to throw up the pizza I had delivered for dinner all over him, the floor, and the blankets and pillows. I ended up throwing away the pillow and sending him to the shower so I could scrub the carpet. Friday night was the night the Fabreze came to die in my bedroom. Ugh.

Saturday came around much too early and I ran around trying to get Bear ready for a pool party at 10:30 and making sure my husband was settled. My parents called and said they were in town and would swing by while I was at the party and keep my husband company until I got back. The party was fantastic. This country club has the best pool I have ever been to. It has a huge kiddie pool part with a beach entrance that goes no deeper than 2 feet. It had little spouts of water for the kids to play in and tons of pool toys. The only downside was that it was already in the mid-90's at 10:30 in the morning and I was playing in 1 ft deep water which isn't really all that cooling.

I got home from the party and my parent's wanted to take us to lunch before they went home. My husband was up moving enough to come along. We did that and then I took my husband over to our Urgent Care center so they could check him out since he was in too much pain to go in on Friday. They gave him a shot and some muscle relaxers. As soon as we got home and I got Bear down for a nap my best friend called and said their apartment countertops had been varnished or sprayed or something and the smell was about to kill them. With the 100+ degree temps it wasn't an option to open the windows and let it air out so could they please come over and stay the night with us?

I barely had time to straighten the house before they showed up. My friend and I ran to Target to pick up a new pillow for my bed and look for a new lamp to replace the one that died in my living room. Then we swung by Taco Cabana and picked up dinner to take back to the boys. We stayed up watching movies that night.

The next morning we got up and made pancakes and visited before they left. I got everything cleaned up and then it was off to the grocery store. I am tired...

Saturday, August 2, 2008

And the winner is ....

Cheryl of Gibson Moments! Congratulations Cheryl. I will be contacting you by email regarding your $20.00.

Friday, August 1, 2008

You may be an unsympathetic wife if...

...you debate taking pictures of your husband lying on the floor to post on your blog.

I kid, sort of. I slept very poorly last night due to watching Cloverfield. Cloverfield didn't scare me but apparently it brought back bad flashbacks of I am Legend and the virus infested zombie people. So I spent the night tossing and turning running from zombie people. I was awakened at 5:30 by unholy moaning and groaning from my bathtub. Luckily it wasn't a zombie person. It was however, my husband having back spasms.

He spent this whole week at work moving incredibly heavy equipment and apparently it caught up to him. So I got up and tended to him rubbing his back and bringing him drinks and blankets. He was certain it had to be something more and insisted on going to the hospital. Bear was still in bed and I was in my jammies. My husband was in...well..less. He called his uncle who lives nearby and asked him to come get him so I wouldn't have to take Bear to the hospital.

His uncle arrives at 7 a.m. and convinces my husband that yes, it is really just your back. He went and bought us a couple of bags of ice and helped get my husband settled on the floor of our bedroom. We gave him Ibuprofen and have been putting ice on for 12 min and off for 20. I also made him breakfast and served it to him on the floor. Brought him his laptop and movies....doing all the things a good wife should.

I got him all set up and Bear and I went to run a few errands. I told him I would bring him back lunch. I get back from my errands an hour later with his lunch and I see a tell-tale open pantry door and peanut butter out on the counter. The kitchen counter. The kitchen counter in the kitchen which is on the complete other end of the house from our bedroom. Uh huh. So now his back is hurting badly again and the moaning and groaning is back. Grrr....If men had babies we would all be an only child if the population didn't die off completely.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Catching up and such..

Sorry I have been so scarce lately. I spent 3 days last week in Dallas visiting my dad and basically eating my way through the metroplex. I love how parents always want to spoil you and pay for everything. We ate out every day, watched movies, swam, and played in an outdoor fountain. It was wonderful. Although I forgot my camera. Grr...

I got to spend my weekend unpacking, doing laundry, grocery shopping and basically catching up. Then Monday morning rolled around and sucked me into the black vortex of the Bloggy Giveaway carnival. Holy crap. I think my fingers are going to fall off before I finish entering all the great giveaways.

I did break away from my computer long enough today to run some errands. Including going to my bank to set up a rollover IRA from my previous job I left 3 1/2 months ago. Procrastinate much? The lady had never set up a rollover IRA before and did not instill a lot of confidence in me. Like when she asked me to sign in the spot that was for her to sign and the spot for my spouse to sign. Oh, and calling her customer service to have them help her walk through the process. Sigh. But its done for now I hope. Cross your fingers that she dotted her i's and crossed her t's.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Bloggy Giveaways Carnivals


It's that time again, the Bloggy Giveaways Carnival hosted by Bloggy Giveaways. In the past I have given away a subscription to Wondertime Magazine and jewelry. This time I decided in light of the bad economy to give you something we could all use, cold hard cash. OK, probably warm papery cash.

I will mail the winner of the giveaway a $20.00 bill .

To enter just leave your name and email or a link to your blog. If you would like a second entry you can post about this giveaway on your blog and come back and leave a link to the entry. I will draw a winner on Friday, August 1st at 5 p.m. CST.

Good luck!

Monday, July 21, 2008

I survived the weekend, unfortunately the blender didn't make it

I survived the weekend. Whew. I may need to get t-shirts printed up that say that. Perhaps sell them to college kids on spring break. We had a great time but it was tiring. There was a steady stream of people in and out of our house from 4 p.m. Friday till my friend left at 2 p.m. yesterday. My in-laws even dropped by for a surprise visit with ZERO warning 30 minutes before my guests were to show up.

My husband wasn't there because I had sent him on an emergency mission for a gift for the birthday guy, which I had forgotten to get, and bread, because my bread maker was too hot for me to make the second loaf of bread right away. Then my friends brought an extra guest. And the blender died just as I was getting ready to make the 1st batch of margaritas. My husband got to make a second emergency run to the store for a new blender. Then another couple was an hour late because they didn't realize we were eating at 4. And my friend who was in town visiting got back from the wedding early and announced they didn't have food at the wedding. I barely had enough food to feed everyone which you know is a cardinal sin in my Southern hostessing little heart.

But in the end it all came together thanks to a fabulous brisket and copious amounts of alcohol. Everyone declared the party a success. Sunday morning my friend and I snuck away for ginormous breakfast burritos at a local Mexican restaurant while the boys slept in. She was even so kind as to go to church with me even though my church is quite a bit different from her own. After she left I got to relax and finish watching Season 1 of Mad Men I rented on Netflix. If you aren't watching this show yet go add it to your Netflix queue. Now, go ahead, I'll wait. The new season starts this coming Sunday at 9 p.m. CST on AMC. I can hardly wait.

Now if you will excuse me I have to go catch up on laundry, dishes, and getting my house back in order.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

I am preparing for a mini invasion this weekend. My best friend's husband's birthday is today and they requested to celebrate his birthday with a BBQ at our house Saturday. No biggie. They have a small apartment so it makes sense for us to cook a brisket at our house. But on top of having the get together on Saturday I also have an old college friend coming in to town tomorrow to stay the weekend. She is set to attend a wedding here on Saturday so she won't be here for the BBQ but she will stay Friday and Saturday night.

I am looking forward to seeing my friends this weekend but I am also dreading it a bit. Not because I don't like them or don't like entertaining. I just don't have a lot of time with my husband with all the hours he works and I will be out of town part of next week in Dallas. So there won't be a lot of time for us to hang out and decompress with people here all weekend.

Before I got married I used to dread the weekends and nights. I lived alone and made every effort to never be without company or plans. Now that I am married I have become quite a homebody, perfectly content to spend a weekend in pjs with my hubbie and a stack of videos. I have gotten a little better about going out but I still prefer to keep my outing to a few hours and then back home.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Riding along in my automobile

My Mom and Stepdad came down to visit Sunday and brought Bear a present.

Isn't she a beaut? Check out the gas mileage on this baby.

Hmmm...how do you get in this thing?

Ohhh...OK, got it...

10 and 2, 10 and 2...I can totally do this..

Can I get fries with that?

Thursday, July 10, 2008

The woman behind the mask..

As I settle into my new routine of domestic bliss as a SAHM I start to wonder who I will be in 20 years. How will my children see me? Will they see me as a boring coupon clipping, bread making, plain old housewife? Will they think that I couldn't possibly ever had a life outside of cooking, cleaning and picking up dirty socks?Will they take my advice because they respect where I am coming from? Has there always been a June Cleaver poking out from under the exterior cool facade waiting to be set free?

I like to think I will be the cool mom. The house that all the kids come over to hang out at. Be the mom that has an open relationship with my kids that they will be able to talk freely with me without the fear of judgement. That they will see that I am protective not closeminded.

How do you balance openness with your kids versus TMI? Will they throw my past sins in my face like my sister did to my parents? Who am I to judge them when I used drugs and alcohol as a crutch to survive high school and college? That I couldn't make it into class without getting stoned in the parking lot first? Will they understand that I warn them out of experience and love and not out of being a hypocrite? Will they look at me and say you did all this and turned out fine without seeing the scars hiding under the apron?

Will they know that I screamed at my parent's that I hated them? That I ran away from home after saying words so mean and hateful that they still echo in my ears 12 years later? That I was a teenager and yes, I know EXACTLY what they are going through. Will they be impressed that I turned my life around and that I finished college early? That I studied abroad? That I worked with rape victims for 4 years rushing to hospitals in the middle of the night? That I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up either. That I still don't?

It is a fine line to walk. You can stay mum and let them see you as nothing more than Mom or you can spill all and let the chips fall where they may. My older sister suffers from overknowledge, the sins of the parent's visited upon the child. I suffer from the see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil syndrome refusing to think of the past and wanting to know as little as possible. We fight our demons in our own way. I see my Mom as Mom, the boring old housewife. My sister sees her as part sellout, part hypocrite. Maybe we were both right and yet both so wrong. Either way, who do you think is the first person we call when it all goes to hell in a handbasket?

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Thoughts from the middle of my night

So my husband and I have been discussing expanding our little family. It actually makes my heart race a little to write this. As if putting the words out there might jinx something. We are not officially "trying" yet but we aren't officially trying not to. The pressure is on.

My track record with pregnancy so far is not exactly stellar. Not terrible, but not stellar. I had one pregnancy that made it to 6 weeks and one that made it to just under 33 weeks. I would prefer one that makes it to at least 35. After 35 weeks they are just freeloading right? Just kidding.

I try to make light of pregnancy and all that it entails but honestly deep down, I am scared to death. Scared of the pregnancy. Scared of miscarriage. Scared of preterm labor. Scared of labor, period. Each step of the way is fraught with peril.

But I do desperately want to have another baby. In all honesty I would like to have more than one more. I am so jealous of those women who can teach aerobics classes up to the end of their pregnancy and have a relatively easy natural delivery. Yes, I do have a friend like this.

I am not complaining by any means. I know I am extremely lucky that I can get pregnant and that I have a healthy baby. But it would be so nice to have a pregnancy free of worries beyond names, crib decorations, and back pain. Worries that keep me up at night sitting on the floor next to Bear's bed watching him sleep. Stroking his fluffy blond hair through the crib slats. Thanking God for every breath he takes. Praying that I will get to do this all again, and maybe again.

Monday, July 7, 2008

7 things about Bear

I got tagged by Haley for a meme that luckily is not about me!
1. Link your tagger and list the rules on the blog.
2. Share 7 facts about your kiddos on your blog…random, weird, funny…whatever you want!
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post
4. Don’t forget to let the tagged people know!

7 things about Bear:

1. He climbs on EVERYTHING. This has resulted in many bumps and bruises and one scared mama. At the rate he is going he should be ready to tackle Everest by his 3rd birthday.

2. He is addicted to YoBaby yogurt. It is expensive but he loves it so I usually buy 4-5 six packs a week for him. I love that he is snacking on something healthy although crackers (animal and graham) are still way high on his list of requested foods too.

3. He has moved past walking and is now on to running. It is so funny to see him running away cackling. Luckily we can still outrun him although I know our days are limited.

4. He is obsessed with pushing buttons. I could kiss the person who designed our TV for putting the buttons on the side. I wish I could say the same for the DVR, DVD player, and XBOX. Don't get me started on the remotes.

5. He is cutting 6 teeth right now that I know of. I am a little afraid to probe around in his mouth too much as I am fond of my fingers.

6. If you want to make him laugh, show him your belly button and then show him his. He thinks belly buttons are the funniest things ever. Followed closely by noses and eyes. I encourage the belly button poking over being poked in the eye.

7. He wakes up in the night and talks to himself. I hear him through the baby monitor going through his vocabulary. Mama, Dada, cracker, Juice, more, bite, etc. There is no feeling in the world like laying snug in your bed with your husband and listening to that sweet little voice over the baby monitor.

I am not going to tag anyone in particular but if you are looking for some inspiration for a post feel free to consider yourself tagged.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Playing in the rain

Ok. Not the actual rain since we don't get much rain here in the summer. But we did indulge in the next best thing. The sprinkler. Bear is still afriad of the kiddie pool but not the sprinkler pelting him. Go figure.


In other news, he is getting so many teeth at once I am about to change his nickname to Jaws.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Where the animal crackers go to die

Today I was busily typing on my laptop while my darling child entertained himself. All of his toys are right around the area of my recliner and side table that is home to my laptop so I can easily watch him. Lately he has become bored with his toys and has zeroed in on the squeaky toys in Rocky's cage. So of course, I heard him squeaking the dog toys the moment I looked away. I retrieve the toys and return them to the cage.

Bear, in the meantime, has scrambled up in my recliner. He often engages in diversionary tactics to get Momma out of the recliner so he can scramble up into the recliner and explore the Mecca that is my side table. On this table rests my laptop, a lap, 2 picture frames, and more often than not a glass of iced tea. This weekend he nabbed a coke off the table which luckily did not get on the laptop but did get all over the carpet. Today he scrambled up and immediately started messing with the laptop. Mind you, I am only approx. 10 feet away securing the dog toys. So I run over and scoop him up. During the scooping he drags his little fingers over the keyboard popping off 2 keys. Not just the keys but also the little white plastic tabs that hold the keys on.

I take him into his room and lay him down for a nap and return to the laptop to contemplate my options. So of course I turn to my trusty friend Google, which kindly showed me that people have WAY too much time on their hands. There were step by step instructions on replacing the keys and several YouTube videos. I checked a few of the videos but they were poorly lit and blurry so I turned to the step by step instructions. I found http://www.laptoprepair101.com which had pictures and instructions. I managed to get one key back on after about 15 minutes of figuring out how the impossibly tiny pieces of plastic fit together. So I go to put together the plastic pieces and one tiny clear piece pops free and disappears. #$@%^*!!!!!

So I get down on my hands and knees and start feeling for the piece on my biege carpet. There are toys all around so I move the toys and the chair. I learned that this particular area of the living room is the animal cracker graveyard. So I have to decide, do I crawl around on millions of crumbs or do I vacuum and risk sucking up the impossibly tiny plastic computer piece? After 15 minutes of searching I get out the shop vac and start sucking up pieces of cracker while feeling for the plastic piece with my other hand. After 30 minutes my carpet was clean and the plastic piece was nowhere to be found. So I visited my other trusty friend, Ebay, and paid way too much for a new H key to be delivered with plastic clippy pieces. So for now I am typing without the key on the H and I am becoming painfully aware of how many times I use the H key in a day.

The moral of today's story?

1. Animal crackers are the handiwork of the devil.
2. Children and laptops don't mix
3. I am in the wrong line of work. I need to start an Ebay business selling keyboard keys. I would be rich. Rich I tell you!

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Why is it that weekends are almost always more tiring than weekdays? Even when I worked full time the weekends just wore me out. Although I do miss those heady days before having a child where I slept till noon on the weekends. Even in those days we stayed up half the night so the sleeping in didn't help much.

Friday night we went out to dinner with our neighbors and another couple who are friends of theirs. Between the 3 couples we had 4 kids. Which shouldn't be that big of a deal but they certainly ran us ragged. Luckily the restaurant was almost empty so it wasn't too big of a deal. Bear fell in love with a gum ball machine at the front that lit up. He spent half the evening running to the front of the restaurant and wrapping his whole body around it. Whoever invented high chairs for restaurants needs a new job. Those things couldn't keep a rock strapped in much less a squirming 1 year old. They need to invent them with the harnesses that come over the shoulders like they have on the roller coasters.

Saturday we got up and went out for sushi. We decided to stop at a couple of furniture stores to check out the 4th of July sales. But of course we couldn't agree on anything. Furniture shopping is the adult equivalent of if you buy a mouse a cookie. If you buy an adult a sofa, he'll want a matching love seat. If you get the love seat then you need a new recliner. It gets a wee bit ridiculous after awhile. Then we got home and I put together a banana split cake. I have had this cake before but never made it myself. It was a pain in the butt to make. And my pudding never set right. I even got cherries for the top and drizzled chocolate on it. I also threw together a corn casserole. We headed over to the neighbor's house for a BBQ/game night. We ate and drank ourselves sick and by the time desserts came out everyone was too full so I ended up bringing home 3/4 of that cake. Ugh.

Today I did my weekly shopping. I managed to hit 3 grocery stores, Walmart, and CVS. I got some good deals but shopping in 100 degree heat takes it out of you. How sad is it that I am ready for the week?

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Wasting time...

I spent 4 hours on and off today playing my least favorite game, Find the Mail Key. We live in a neighborhood where the mailboxes are grouped together in locked boxes. When we moved in the previous owners only gave us one key to our mailbox because apparently we are not the only ones who have a hard time keeping up with the keys.

I could go to the post office and get them to put in a new lock and give me 2 keys but that would involve me going to the post office of my own free will and waiting 3 days for them to install the new lock. I'd rather have flaming bamboo shoved under my finger nails. So instead I tore apart my house for hours. We dug through the trash, checked under all the furniture, checked our cars, etc.

I finally gave up and sat in my recliner to check my email and thought I should check the chair one last time. I had already moved it earlier to look underneath but this time I popped it up and looked with a flashlight. There in the wood frame I saw a tiny glint of gold. The key was wedged in the wood frame in such a way that it would not have fallen through. Grrr.....4 hours of my life. What a waste.

Monday, June 23, 2008

 


It's been a while since I posted, huh? Saturday we checked out the local wine festival. It was unbelievably hot but we had a great time. I picked up a couple of bottles of amazing Texas wines. Then we checked out a new sushi place that put our usual place to shame. All in all it was a good weekend. We even did a little home improvement by replacing our ghetto mirrored light fixture in the guest bath. The new one is pretty much a piece of crap too but at least it looks better.

Today I went to a local park with 2 girls from church. I say girls because they are 24 and saying ladies just makes me or them sound old. I only know one girl barely and the other I just met today. It is so hard making new friends especially over play dates. They brought 2 and 3 kids with them respectively so it was a little difficult getting a chance to actually talk. Every time we would start to discuss something a kid would run off. I never got a chance to really learn anything about either of them.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Rain on my parade why dont'cha?

Today was another dreaded 6 month checkup at the dentist. I hate going to the dentist worse than anything. I would go to the OB/GYN every day for a year if it meant never having to go to the dentist again (with no cavities). When I get there the receptionist gives me flack about my insurance card. My husband's insurance only gives you one card for both medical and dental and she was trying to refuse it because she thought it was only a medical card. I got it all straightened out after I explained for the 3rd time that the Met Life Dental number was on the card wouldyoufreakingcallthempleasethx!

They call me back and of course my blood pressure is way higher than normal per usual. It is always fine when they check it at the doctor and always ridiculously high at the dentist. Coincidence? I think not. The hygenist comes in and starts cleaning my teeth and asking a million questions. It is very difficult to sound intelligent while talking with a spit sucker stuck in the side of your mouth. When will they learn?

She gets me all cleaned up and the dentist comes in to verify her work. She tells him I have no cavities and he follows that up with an "I hope you're right, lets just check why don't we". So I get to sit through the stress of him probing my mouth too. (She has missed a cavity before that he found on a previous visit) But alas my mouth was perfect. I like to think it is due to my $100.00 electric toothbrush I bought myself for Christmas. Who needs jewelry or purses when you can have clean teeth?

So at this point I am feeling pretty good. Smug, almost. Then as a parting shot he say "Your teeth healthy but you would be an excellent candidate for cosmetic work like a whitening". Ugh. That just pissed me off. I think its just the way he said it but it just took the freaking wind out of my sails. Now I have a new reason to hate the dentist, he is insulting. Imagine if you went to the OB/GYN and during your breast exam he mentioned that you were healthy but an excellent candidate for cosmetic surgery like a boob job? I really need to find a new dentist.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Another weekend...

Our weekend was good, busy, but good. Saturday we went to a local vineyard with friends and did a wine tasting and tour. Then my husband and I stayed and had dinner there. I picked up a bottle of my favorite local wine for later. It was wonderful. I even spotted another blogger I read there. I didn't want to randomly walk up to her but I did leave her a message on her blog the next day.

Sunday I got up and made banana bread for my husband and gave him his Father's Day card. After church we stopped at the mall and he picked out a new pair of Oakleys as his gift. We also stopped at Academy and picked up a baby pool for Bear. Our next door neighbors have a 2 year old and we have been talking for weeks about getting a baby pool to put in the side yard between our houses.

When we got home I ran and got a much needed pedicure and picked up some CVS deals. When I got home the neighbors had put a baby pool of their own in the side yard. I took Bear out there and sat him in the pool where he promptly began screaming bloody murder. He refused to go near the baby pool the rest of the day. Oh well. Maybe next time.

Watching the pool from a safe distance.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Playing at the park

We took advantage of the 98 degree heat today to get outside and get wet. My neighbor and her friend invited me and Bear to go to the park with them and their kids. They have an area where water comes out of fountains in the ground and buckets that fill up and dump on your head. Bear was a little apprehensive and he spent the majority of his time focusing on the smallest water fountain while the bigger kids played with the tall ones. I encourage him to play with the bigger kids but I am also trying to savor this time where he is the little guy.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Yes, dear

So I went out to dinner tonight with a large group of girlfriends and of course the topic of marital relations (trying to avoid the googling) came up during our conversation. One of the girls told me that she has a friend who has been married 10 years, has 3 kids and in the course of those 10 years has never once said no to her husband. Not once?!? So then the question was asked as to the frequency of these marital relations and she says her friend told her that they do it 3-4 a week.

That just blows my mind. Never once say no because of a headache? Cramps? Pregnancy? Not in the mood? Tired? She says that her friend feels it is her obligation as a wife to never refuse her husband. Wow, I wonder if every wife felt like that what the divorce rate in this country would be? I agree that every couple needs intimacy to keep the marriage going but I think this woman deserves a gold star or a cookie or something.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. I just really haven't been up to much. My husband was in a golf tournament all weekend so I spent the weekend home with the baby. Although I did sneak away for breakfast with my best friend on Saturday before my husband left for the golf course so that was a nice break. Oh, and I spent approx 3 hours at an Albertson's near my house that is shutting down buying up going out of business deals.

I love being at home full time but it is definitely making me a bit boring. I spend my days playing with Bear, cleaning, and clipping coupons. Saving money is becoming a wee bit of an obsession for me lately. I am trying so hard to be a good steward of our money now that we have cut our budget significantly with me leaving my job. I always thought people who clipped coupons were nerds but I realize now that they were pretty clever. It is hard to keep up with the what you have, when to use it, manufacturer vs store coupons, etc. I have my trusty coupon organizer but it is still a lot of work. I have literally doubled my grocery shopping time.

But I will say that it is a lot of fun to walk out of a store with a lot of stuff for nearly nothing while everyone else's grocery bills are climbing. I think I just really want to prove to my husband that me staying home won't be a hardship on our family financially. Especially since I decided to quit my job just as the prices of gas and food are doubling. I spent $74.00 filling my SUV this weekend and that was at Sam's Club. I wish I had a car with better gas mileage but it is paid for so it still comes out better than making a car payment and I don't drive much anymore.

I think my new obsession with saving money really boils down to my fear of having to go back to work because we can't pay our bills. I know there are worse things in life but now that I am home I really can't imagine going back if I can help it. So if you have any tips on saving cash let me know. I spend a lot of time frequenting the Money Saving Mom website and she has great ideas but I would love to hear any of yours.

Friday, June 6, 2008

When the cat is away.....

The mouse will buy an obscene amount of Mexican food all for herself...

Well, maybe not ALL for herself...

A decision she will later regret at the pre-bedtime diaper change..

Updates, in case you care

Yes, I am still here. I noticed recently that I have a habit of posting about something and then never mentioning it again. Some of you may not care but some of you may. So just a general status update for those of you who care....

1. Yes, Bear is sleeping again.
That night
was apparently just a nod to the Teething Gods and their mighty power of sleep deprivation.

2. No, I have not done anything with the suggestive ball found in the backyard. It has mysteriously moved to the opposite end of the yard and I am hoping it will mysteriously migrate itself on to greener pastures. I did, however, throw 2 seemingly innocuous plastic colored balls back into the neighbors yard yesterday while ignoring the ball from Mandee.

3. No, I haven't broken my new camera , yet. *Knock on wood furiously*. Unfortunately the new camera did not come with the ability to upload pictures from itself to my computer by osmosis. You would think for as much as I paid it would but alas, it doesn't. I even bought a nifty device that plugs into the side of my laptop that I just pop the memory card into to upload the pictures yet that still doesn't overcome my laziness.

So there you have it. Updates. Besides that I am just being a sloth this week. I have been getting the housework done, watching the baby, baking fresh bread every day and cooking dinner but all of these things can be done from the comfort of my home. So maybe I am not a sloth just more of a homebody. I did venture out once this week to the library where I picked up some books that I have been devouring after Bear goes to bed. I am currently half way through The Year of Pleasures. I am still working on my Dove chocolate stash although I may need to venture out and replenish it soon. I have been tagged for a Meme which I promise I am working on. I think that about covers it.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

This message is sponsored by Motrin, Baby Orajel, and Dove Chocolates

I have been blessed that for the majority of Bear's 16 months on earth he has been a great sleeper. I have always been a little afraid to say anything for fear of jinxing it. He usually sleeps a solid 13 hours a night with at least 2 hours of nap time or more during the day. I'll duck while you Moms throw something at me.

Last night my illusions of grandeur were shattered. I stayed up late talking to the hubby and we didn't settle down to sleep until around 12-12:30ish. Around 1 a.m. Bear started crying out some. Now it's not unusual for him to cry out a few times in his sleep. So I listened for a little bit on the baby monitor to see if he was settling down. He continued the cry outs for awhile so I decided to peek in. Big mistake.

The little whimpers I heard before were nothing compared to the full on wails of a child who realizes Momma is up and in his room. MUST.GET.OUT.OF.CRIB.NOOOOOWWWWW. OK so I get him up and lay on the couch in his room for awhile rubbing his back. Typically this works if he is upset. Then I lay him down. Big mistake, again. So I leave the room for a bit hoping he will settle down and fall asleep on his own.

I go through this until somewhere in the neighborhood of 4:30 a.m. Trying out milk, juice, food, back rubs, baby Motrin until we finally both crash at 4:30 in my bed. At 8:00 a.m. he awakes refreshed and ready to party. Momma, not so much. I get up and feed him breakfast and let him play for as long as I can stay awake and then put him down at 10 a.m. for a nap. It is 1:48 and he is still down. I know I need to go wake him up or potentially incur the wrath of an angry toddler at 3 a.m. tonight but ugh I am tired. And yes, I did take a nice nap from 10- 1. Thank God I am not working. I still don't know what caused last night's up all night baby fiesta. No fever, not hungry, not thirsty, not cold, not hot, clean diaper. I guess we can chalk this one up to teething. Thank God for the Dove milk chocolates I bought last night at the store. They make anything bearable.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Where has the time gone?

This week starts my 7th week as a SAHM. It has been flying by. This is the happiest I have been in a long time. I am not as tired and stressed anymore. I have more time for socializing with friends and playing with my son. I have the house clean and dinner ready when my husband gets home so that frees up time for us to just hang out in the evenings. I still have to remind myself every Sunday night that I really don't have to go to work tomorrow. It seems so surreal.

I really never expected my social life to increase once I wasn't working. I figured that I would become one of those Moms parked in front of Oprah in my sweatpants all day. Instead I have found myself becoming less of a hermit. Working full time sucked all the energy out of me. When I got home in the evening I had to do laundry, clean the house, do dishes, take care of dinner, play with Bear, etc, etc. The weekends were spent trying to run errands and finish up tasks that weren't done on weeknights. I really wasn't up for having people over as much because that weekend time was so precious.

Now I actually get my weekends off because the housework and errands are done during the week. We went to a pool party Saturday afternoon then had friends over for dinner that evening. Sunday I went out to lunch after church with a friend and we caught the Sex and the City movie. Then our husbands went to hit golf balls while we watched movies at the house with Bear and cooked dinner. It was amazing. And I knew I didn't have to rush them out the door so I could get everything ready for work and daycare.

I would go back to work if we financially couldn't make it but I am so grateful for this opportunity to not have to. I was afraid when I left my job that I would regret it. That I would miss being part of the working world and earning my keep. I was afraid that staying home wouldn't be everything I had built it up in my mind to be and that I would be bored to tears. But I have to say I honestly love it.