Someone being me

Tonight I hosted my first small group for church. Our church building is very small and barely has room for the children's Sunday school classes and the adults to attend service. Since the church began 3 1/2 years ago they have had small groups hosted in people's homes instead of traditional Sunday school classes. It is great because you can attend multiple groups and they change out each semester.

I have attended many groups in the past 2 1/2 years we been at the church but I have never led a group before. I have never prayed out loud in front of people before. Even more nerve wracking was that my group is for college women. We have an enormous amount of college students in our church so we have multiple college groups right now. I've stressed about my decision to sign up as a group leader since I made the commitment last month.

What if they think I am out of touch? I know I am only 6 1/2 years out of college but to a college kid 6 1/2 years is a lifetime. I struggled all day today with what I wanted to say tonight. We are doing a specific study so I have the material to cover but on a personal level I wasn't sure where to go. I ended up being honest and open without TMI, I hope. I want them to know I was not a saint, not even close when I was their age.

I talked a lot tonight. They were all really shy at first so I felt like I just talked and talked. Now I am sitting here over analyzing everything I said. I have a tendency to talk fast and say anything that pops into my brain whenever I am nervous. I hope they don't all think I am a total dork and not show up next week. Luckily it is only a 6 week study...