Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Another post where I complain about helping people..

My date on Friday with my hubby was lovely. Wonderful. Everything I hoped for. I forgot how much we need that us time. No picking up sippy cups or inhaling our meal before a major meltdown. We got to sit through a 3 hour movie (Batman). What luxury.

Saturday I woke up with a sore throat and a runny nose. Thank you Texas allergies. I made it through the weekend and spent yesterday nursing myself back to health. Today I needed to drop off Bear's MDO paperwork so he would be ready to start next week. At 5:00 yesterday a friend of mine called and left a message but I didn't check it because I was still feeling pretty crappy. She called again at 9:45 so I thought it must be important.

She needed me to watch her 2 1/2 year old today so she could go to a doctor's appointment. No problem, the appointment was at 1:45 I don't mind helping out. The first red flag should have been when she said she wanted to drop him off at 12. The doctor's office is only 5 minutes from my house but something about it was his nap time and how she didn't want to bring him over in the middle. She would bring him here at noon and get him settled in so he would nap until she got back.

Imagine my surprise when she calls at 11:25 today saying she is right down the road so why doesn't she go ahead and bring him by so he can eat and get settled in? At 11:30 she is on my doorstep with him and his lunch. At 11:35 she was out the door, mind you her appointment was at 1:45. She explained that she was going to bring her husband lunch to work so he could use his lunch hour for the appointment? This is 2 hours and 10 minutes before the appointment and her husband works 5 minutes from my house.

I feed her son and put him down at 12:15 for his nap. At 1:45 he is up and ready to play. Her husband calls at 2:05 and says the doctor is delayed so they may be later than they thought. At 4:00 she calls to say she is dropping her husband back off at work. At 4:10 she is back to get her son, 4 1/2 hours after she dropped him off. I explained he only took an 1 1/2 hour nap and she said that was normal which is not how she represented it when she called yesterday evening.

I don't mind helping people out. I understand it is hard to get people to watch your child in the middle of the day but I really think you should set the right expectations and perhaps even give people more notice that you need a babysitter. The appointment was scheduled weeks in advance. I just felt taken advantage of when she left. She thanked me several times but it just seemed like a case of asking forgiveness later being easier than asking permission.

I have watched her son several times over the past 2 1/2 years and this is the longest she has left him with me but I really don't want to set a precedent. She said as she was leaving that she has another doctor's appointment next week but she will try to get someone else to watch him since it is at 8:15 in the morning. I wanted to say I would help but I didn't.

Am I just being overly sensitive?


Haley said...

You totally aren't being overly sensitive! She really kind of did take advantage of you...even if it was in a nice way with thanks yous and all that.

Good for you for not volunteering to babysit again, let her take advantage of someone else for a change.

And really, if she needs someone to keep him in the middle of the day often, she should consider MDO...or daycare...just like the rest of us!

jpandtheboys said...

First of all I want to say thank you. I appreciate your prayers and thoughtful comments. I can understand why you feel taken advantage of. It's hard to say if she was taking advantage or maybe things really snowballed and she didn't mean for it too. I wouldn't let it keep you from helping her out again but if it happens again I would talk to her. Good luck, I would have felt taken advantage of and crabby about it too.

Cee said...

You have a right to be frustrated. Sounds like she wanted some time to herself and she really should have scheduled a babysitter! It just seems too fishy... If you had any plans for that day they would have been messed up.

Kristine said...

It's one thing for the appointment to run over...that's typical of doctors. It's another thing to show up 2 hours early to drop him off. Not over sensitive.

stacey said...

totally forgot to comment the first time i read this! maybe b/c i was so mad for you!

she was totally disrepectful of you and your time.