Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Is it just me?

I've been thinking about fears lately. I have the usual ones; spiders, heights, small spaces, etc. Then I have my weird little ones like checking the mail. Am I the only person who absolutely abhors checking the mail? I actually dread it all day. There are weekends where I will not check it just because I know there is something in there that could ruin my weekend and there is nothing I can do about it until Monday.

I remember as a kid I always wanted to check the mail. I would get so excited going out to the box and checking to see if I got a magazine, card, or letter. This irrational fear of checking the mail is actually a fairly new thing for me. It came about around the time I had my son and got laid off from my job. I had my son 7 1/2 weeks early and we both were in the ICU (me for 2 days and him for 15). So the medical bills and insurance statements started rolling in. Then I got laid off at the end of May and stuff started coming for unemployment. It seemed that every time I checked the mail I had some phone call that needed to be made or some bill I had to figure out if I needed to pay. It got so bad that my husband and I would both refuse to check the mail just to avoid the stress.

Eventually I got another job and squared away all the unemployment stuff and the insurance covered the bulk of our enormous hospital bill. I have lots of good things like Netflix movies, magazines, and cards that come in the mail but I still have that fear in me. Does everyone have some odd fear that was brought about by one bad period or event but yet they carry it with them always?

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