Monday, March 24, 2008

The Great Diaper Blowout of aught-8

I got home this evening and put Bear down for a nap so I could chase down my wayward pug. My husband came home shortly after and helped me corner him in the neighbors yard using an elaborate plan involving a squeaky toy with person in front of him and a person sneaking up from behind. While we were outside my husband decided to mow the grass while I pulled a few (million) weeds. When we got done we were too tired to deal with dinner so we decided to go out. My husband has a bit of an upset stomach today so in our infinite wisdom we decided to go out for Mexican. In our defense we had a $25.00 gift certificate from restaurants.com I bought half off for $5.00. Then we were going to go to Home Depot to pick up some supplies to fix our fence.

So we get to the restaurant and order and eat our appetizer and my husband's stomach starts to hurt so he excuses himself just as the food arrives. Bear has been a little fussy and threw up a little on the table after coughing. No biggie he seems fine and is eating good. I wiped it up and worked on my quesadillas. My husband gets back and decided to box his food to go and Bear is getting really fussy. I pick up Bear to try and calm him so we can get checked out and I notice his back is wet. I pull my arm away and it is coated in what I wish was melted chocolate but unfortunately was not. My poor husband who is already a little green is frantically handing me wipes while poop continues to squish out the back of the diaper and all over Bear's pants and shirt. We get the worst of it wiped off and I grab a handful of napkins to press against his back so we can hightail it out of the restaurant.

Luckily I replenished the plastic baggie supply last night in the diaper bag so we could take all the nasty wipes with us. We run to the car and strip Bear and see poop oozing out the leg holes as well so it gets all over his socks. We are out of wipes at this point and are down to restaurant napkins. We bag his clothes and get him wiped down enough to put on a clean diaper and strap him in the car seat. We pull out another baggie and dispose of the offending diaper and napkins. Bear was perfectly fine after that and laughed the whole way home. He got a nice long bath when we got home. Needless to say the Home Depot trip has been postponed until tomorrow or until my men get better digestive health.


Halp. I are prizner. Pleez send bail.

12 comments:

stacey said...

i am sorry to say that you made me laugh. but it was out of pure empathy!!

hope the "bug" leaves your house quickly!

LL said...

It probably shouldn't have, but that story made me crack up. I even read it out loud to JP. Oh the poo that comes along with mothering... can't say anyone told me about that.

Glad you got the dog - the picture cracked me up.

jpandtheboys said...

we all have our poop stories don't we? :) Poo certainly does go along with mothering. I haven't had quite the poop stories that my husband has had. He got pooped on at the hospital while visiting friends who just had a baby. He had to walk through the hospital with a big green poop stain on his shirt. It was hard not to laugh at him. Then we were out for dinner and he was changing a poopy in the men's room when the diaper got dropped and poop splattered everywhere. Poor guy. :) Well certainly glad you got your dog back!! Have a great day.

Law Student Hot Mama said...

I JUST had a poo blow-out with my kid last week. I hadn't had one of those since he was a newborn (what is it about newborn diapers that causes the poo to leak way up the back anyway)?

The prisoner picture is hilarious.

EmilyPie said...

diaper blow-outs kill my fever... thank you! :)

abrightfuture said...

The *only* thing worse than a blowout in a diaper is a blowout in a pull-up, which contain even less of the mess than a diaper does...

Hope everyone gets to feeling better soon!

Kristine said...

Awww...we had poop blowouts at our house yesterday too. Actually technically, they were at the babysitter's house, but I have to say I have never been so excited in my life as this morning when I saw soft but solid poo.

The bug came Friday, hibernated through Saturday and Sunday, then woke up with a vengence on Monday - but seems to be gone this morning. So there's hope!

Amanda said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA! The whole thing, totally hilarious! Seriously, I've been there and I cannot help but laugh at others there now. So gross!

Love the dog's plea for help, too. Priceless.

Cee said...

oh my goodness! so intense. I hope everyone feels better.

Haley said...

Goodness, I hope both your guys are feeling better.

As for the picture of the dog, LOL!

Erin said...

Totally made me feel better about the day I'm having. :)

Anonymous said...

My 2 1/2 year old had a blow out of massive proportions yesterday and it happened at a book store in a mall. He was playing with a Thomas Train set in the children's section while I was browsing books to buy for him in the next isle over when I heard him say: "Daddy, I got to go poopy!" I approached him thinking I would walk him to the store's men's room only to find what looked like someone had poured five cans of Campbell's split pea soup down his back. I was MORTIFIED to say the least. As I ran him across the store into the men's room to clean him up, liquid poop was dripping down my forearms onto my clothes. In the handicap stall, I stripped him of all his clothes; put the dirty clothes in a plastic bag; wiped him off with toilet paper; and, put a new diaper back on him and the only clean article of clothing had had: his jacket. I then put him in the stroller and wheeled him out the men's room door to find a custodial crew was mopping up the mess he made on the floor near the train set on the other side of the store. Still mortified, I wheeled him out to the car without turning my head all the while thinking of the looks I was getting as I exited... When we got home, I gave him a bath and a big hug before he napped.