I don't officially make New Year's Resolutions. Not because I don't believe in them but because I have the memory of a goldfish with Alzheimer's (with the exception of my husband's misdoings). I can't tell you what I ate for dinner last night much less remember to do something I promised at midnight after 15 beers. Alright 3 beers. Whatever, I'm not in college anymore. This year I am making a concerted effort to make and keep a New Year's Resolution. My resolution is to be a better wife. And technically I didn't make it on New Year's Eve with some starry eyed ideal about love. I made my resolution after yet another pointless fight with my husband.
I sat there ready to rip his head off if he dared cross my path and I realized how stupid the whole fight was. Why is it easier to get irritated and yell than it is to just understand that your spouse is human. We are always defensive, always ready to make a quick jab when the other disappoints our expectations. Honestly, our fighting has lessened in the 5 years we have been together. This isn't even the main thing I wanted to work on.
My husband is a much more affectionate person than I am. He wants to *gasp* cuddle in bed and kiss me before he leaves for work. I am just not that kind of person. Maybe in the first few months of a relationship when you are in heat but after that I have to remind myself to be affectionate.
He also needs a lot of words of affirmation, it is his love language . I try to remember to tell him what a great husband, good provider, wonderful father he is but I don't think I do it nearly often enough. All of these things together made me feel like a failure as a wife. We both come from divorced families (his father is on his 3rd wife, mine is about to marry his 4th) and I don't want Bear to grow up the way we did. I don't advocate staying in a miserable marriage because I have seen how hard that is as well. I want to try to avoid not only divorce but also avoid a bad marriage as well. So the past few days I have been trying to be nicer, more accomodating, more complimentary to my husband.
I don't know if this is a testament to the kind of wife I have been, but my husband has been growing increasingly suspicious. He is enjoying the nicer me but more in a who are you and what did you do with my wife kind of way? All in all it has been a pleasant week. He is happier and in turn is treating me better. We dressed up nicely for each other today and took Bear to Olive Garden. We went to the mall and he bought tools at Sears while I picked up a few shirts on sale at Express. It was probably the first time we have been to the mall together without a fight of some sort. We used to call Saturdays fight day because we always seemed to be at each other's throats on what should be a wonderful and relaxing day. So far I consider my resolution to be a sucess. Hopefully I can continue this long past 2008.